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Good luck to you and I hope that you find the peace that you need in your life. I can talk about her without crying, but I still have some things that trigger emotions. It wasn't sudden or unexpected, but it was still hard to deal with. He and my grandmother had been married about 70 yrs. She was sick of looking at the stuff and wanted it gone. Sure being single sucks but dating before you are ready can potentially hurt you more. Took me 6 months to a year before I was comfortable dating again.
I am sure some of the firsts that I will experience this year won't be easy. It isn't that she didn't love him at all, she did, very much. About 20 yrs ago my *auntie* lost her husband suddenly. move at your own pace, do what you have to, grieve how you need to (not how others tell you you have to). There's no timeline, no rule that says you have to do it by X date. it took me more than 2 years before I was ready to date after the end of my marriage. I am not a widow or widower but it's been aalmost 7 years since my mom died and I find my dad saying (he's 48) that nobody will ever replace my mom , which is true but I told him not to look for somebody to replace her and instead look for someone who makes him happy and he enjoys being with and not to compare them to my mom. Now I am at peace and recently found someone VERY special. I was in Iraq and Audra passed away 4 months after giving birth to our 1st child.
It doesn't make the love for the departed cease, but neither is it a betrayal to love again. I am not being trite, but only you will know when you are past the point where your grief over your late wife is no longer depriving a potential new partner of the attention she deserves.
I was grieving for two full years before the accident, so I was ready fairly soon afterwards.
I think the poster that said it's different for everyone is right.
I was in a support group and some of the wives moved on quickly and are already re-married, 3 years out now, and others still aren't ready and haven't even dated. I'm a different person for sure - still working on being the best "me". Rosie I agree about the comment about dead people cant love back. Though it has been 72 days since he passed, i still miss him so much.
I was about at the same time frame you are when I felt I was ready, I deeply missed companionship, intimacy, and someone wanting to ask about my day.
After taking care of someone for a year, I needed that.
I hope that I was able to help, even if its just a little bit. she'd stripped his closet of everything, had cleared out his beloved (and very cluttered garage), had all his *junk* removed and was working on getting the trailers and other mobile homes off their property (they stored them for family and friends).I realize there is no set time frame, but being single really bites. I am really struggling with that one because I was always "her husband."I have searched the other threads and couldn't find the answers I seek there.My grieving, too, began, when we found out she was ill, so even though she was instead taken in an accident we were somewhat prepared. In Christian thought, and in any other worldview that I can think of, death releases us.I first have to state that I am not a widow, but I do have compassion for you just the same.I cant imagine the loss of someone that was your other half and I do not pretend to know how you or she fealt about eachother but I will tell you that a wife that truly loved her husband she would never expect him to grow old alone.