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Some of those stigmas still exist, she says, so remember that divorce doesn't define you.
"Divorcing just means that the relationship didn't work out," she says.
"I asked for, and got, a check 30 days after my husband left," she says.
"Too many men dodge their financial responsibilities, so waiting for that first alimony check is unwise. Newman says that a client of hers told her husband's boss about his affair with his secretary and ended up getting him fired.
"Anything written online about an ex-spouse will exist forever—when the children are old enough to read," cautions Newman. Being divorced doesn't mean you're a failure, less competent or less desirable.
"Divorce used to be something people didn't do, and many considered divorced women to be 'loose' and 'scandalous,'" says two-time divorcee Jennifer Little, Ph D, founder of Parents Teach Kids.
"It can leave him feeling stigmatized or reinforce that the divorce is his fault," says Doares, though therapy's a good option if the behavior change is extreme. She now has a blog, Plenty Perfect.com, and sees new directions her life can take."Divorce can be the beginning of a good next chapter, even if you don't know how the book's going to end," she says.We, at e Harmony, are committed to helping black men and women find love that lasts, we are confident in our ability to do so.Her divorce recovery classes helped her realize everyone bounces back at their own pace.Psychotherapist Pandora Mac Lean-Hoover, who's divorced, also suggests finding a therapist who knows firsthand how vulnerable you are.
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Rest assured, these 10 lessons can get you through the end of your marriage, both financially and emotionally. It may take a long time to recover—and that's okay.